Joke of the Day...
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Replied by Sharkey on topic Joke of the Day...
Either way buddy, I would call that a crash and burn no matter what. I'm guessing her ass was pretty burned by then and he got his flamed when he got home... 
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Replied by Sharkey on topic Joke of the Day...
WOMAN'S PERFECT BREAKFAST
She's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee.
Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box.
Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week.
Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl.
And her husband is on the back of the milk carton.
She's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee.
Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box.
Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week.
Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl.
And her husband is on the back of the milk carton.
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Replied by Akai on topic Joke of the Day...
It was the funeral of a woman who had henpecked her husband, driven her kids nuts, scrapped with the neighbors at the slightest opportunity, and even made neurotics of their cat and dog with her explosive temper. As the casket was lowered into the grave, a violent thunderstorm broke and the pastor’s benediction was drowned out by the blinding flash of lighting, followed by terrific thunder. “Well, at least we know she got there all right,” commented her husband 
AKAI
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- Thank you received: 175
Replied by Sharkey on topic Joke of the Day...
The Stuttering Kitten
A teacher is explaining biology to her third grade students.
She says, "Human beings are the only animals that stutter."
A little girl raises her hand, saying, "I had a kitty cat who stuttered."
The teacher, knowing how precious some of these stories could become, asked the girl to describe the incident.
"Well,'' she began, "I was in the back yard with my kitty and the Rottweiler that lives next door got a running start and before we knew It, he jumped over the fence into our yard!"
The teacher exclaimed, "That must've been scary!"
The little girl said, "It sure was. My kitty raised her back, went 'Sssss, Sssss, Sssss' and before she could say 'Shit,' the Rottweiler ate her!"
The teacher had to leave the room...
A teacher is explaining biology to her third grade students.
She says, "Human beings are the only animals that stutter."
A little girl raises her hand, saying, "I had a kitty cat who stuttered."
The teacher, knowing how precious some of these stories could become, asked the girl to describe the incident.
"Well,'' she began, "I was in the back yard with my kitty and the Rottweiler that lives next door got a running start and before we knew It, he jumped over the fence into our yard!"
The teacher exclaimed, "That must've been scary!"
The little girl said, "It sure was. My kitty raised her back, went 'Sssss, Sssss, Sssss' and before she could say 'Shit,' the Rottweiler ate her!"
The teacher had to leave the room...
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Replied by Siscowet on topic Mixed Emotions
With all due apologies to the performer, I don't think I would want the nickname, "Little Richard". 
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Replied by Sharkey on topic Mixed Emotions
The pastor asked if anyone in the congregation would like to express praise for answered prayers. Suzie Smith stood and walked to the podium. She said, "I have a praise.
Two months ago, my husband, Phil, had a terrible bicycle wreck and his scrotum was completely crushed..
The pain was excruciating and the doctors didn't know if they could help him." You could hear a muffled gasp from the men in the congregation as they imagine the pain that poor Phil must have experienced.
"Phil was unable to hold me or the children," she went on, "and every move caused him terrible pain." We prayed as the doctors performed a delicate operation, and it turned out they were able to piece together the crushed remnants of Phil's scrotum, and wrap wire around it to hold it in place."
Again, the men in the congregation cringed and squirmed uncomfortably as they imagined the horrible surgery performed on Phil.
"Now," she announced in a quivering voice, "thank the Lord, Phil is out of the hospital and the doctors say that with time, his scrotum should recover completely."
All the men sighed with unified relief. The pastor rose and tentatively asked if anyone else had something to say.
A man stood up and walked slowly to the podium.
He said, "I'm Phil." The entire congregation held its breath. "I just want to tell my wife the word is sternum."
Two months ago, my husband, Phil, had a terrible bicycle wreck and his scrotum was completely crushed..
The pain was excruciating and the doctors didn't know if they could help him." You could hear a muffled gasp from the men in the congregation as they imagine the pain that poor Phil must have experienced.
"Phil was unable to hold me or the children," she went on, "and every move caused him terrible pain." We prayed as the doctors performed a delicate operation, and it turned out they were able to piece together the crushed remnants of Phil's scrotum, and wrap wire around it to hold it in place."
Again, the men in the congregation cringed and squirmed uncomfortably as they imagined the horrible surgery performed on Phil.
"Now," she announced in a quivering voice, "thank the Lord, Phil is out of the hospital and the doctors say that with time, his scrotum should recover completely."
All the men sighed with unified relief. The pastor rose and tentatively asked if anyone else had something to say.
A man stood up and walked slowly to the podium.
He said, "I'm Phil." The entire congregation held its breath. "I just want to tell my wife the word is sternum."
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